Friday, August 31, 2007

Friday Snippets: Shadows Taller Than Our Souls

And we're back with Dell this week. After the nuclear blast in Columbia killed her friend Daniel, Dell rescued her neighbor's young son, Caleb. Since then, she has made her way through Columbia with Corleone, her cat, and Caleb. Wounded and exhausted, Dell makes the decision to hand the boy off to some soldiers in a jeep above the drain where they are hiding. She writes his information on his arm in permanent marker and he begs her to let him stay with her.

Let me know what you think and please leave a link to your own Friday Snippet!

Copyrighted, do not reproduce, material liable to change. Etc.
Crouched there in the dark under the street side drain pipe, Dell saw Caleb's face and ash frosted his shoulders like snow. The jeep was rumbling above them, purring and coughing. She had to send the boy up, let the soldiers take care of him. And then the jeep rumbled on, down into the fire-eaten city, and Dell was still staring at the boy gulping down sobs in front of her. Her vision blurred and tears burned in her dry eyes.

Caleb flung himself at her, throwing his permanent-inked arms around her neck and choking on his tears as he tried to talk. She closed her eyes, shaking her head. She told herself she would not regret this decision. She'd done that before, when she sent her brother away. The last time she saw Math alive, he turned in the door, smiled with the early sunshine at his back and was gone into the morning. Dell forced her eyes open. Not now. Matheson had no place here in a world of ash and broken glass.

The last time she saw Math alive, he turned in the door, smiled with the early sunshine at his back and was gone into the morning.

She let Corleone into one of the pillow cases, letting him enough room so he could stick his head out to investigate, then slung both cases onto her back. She stood, Caleb's ear pressed against her chest, his arms smearing ink around her neck. He wrapped his legs around her waist, and under the shadow of leaning office buildings and skeletal skyscrapers she carried him.

She kept her distance from the wounded and the blind, those burned and staggering through the ash-drifted streets. She turned his head, forcing his eyes away and covering his ears.

"Where are we going?" Caleb mumbled against her.
"We're going to a friend. Now close your eyes," she said. "Roy will know what to do and we're almost there."

She was running before she knew it, and each step was agony up her back. She wanted to take off her shoe, the pressure of it like a vise, but she was struck by the strange fear that all of her blood would pour out if she did so. She swayed on her feet, stopped. Caleb looked up at her.

"What's wrong?" He was yelling. She could only hear him as if from a great distance, from deep down under dark waters. Dell was on her knees, ash puffing up phantom-like around her. Caleb stood beside her, trying to pull her to stand. She put out a hand to steady herself.

A man moved toward them through the smoke and his eyes were heavy lenses reflecting ruin and fire.

A man moved toward them through the smoke and his eyes were heavy lenses reflecting ruin and fire. His face was masked, monstrous with old faded leather. She was on her back then and she saw only sky, clear blue above the roll of heat. Shadows swept around them, heavier and darker than space. She wondered at that moment if Math ever saw the sky one last time before...she flinched away from that again. She turned her head.

The man with the mask loomed over them, their faces reflected in his light-white lenses.



So say we all.
Bri

16 comments:

IanT said...

ash puffing up phantom-like around her is great.

Not quite sure about the very first sentence; it doesn't seem to quite make sense (Dell saw Caleb's face and ash...)

Good ending.

Ann said...

Uh-oh. Is this guy friend or foe?

Kait Nolan said...

"A man moved toward them through the smoke and his eyes were heavy lenses reflecting ruin and fire." That's such great imagery. And you suck for leaving us hanging [grin].

Amy Ruttan said...

I know, I've said it before, but you're great at descriptions.

Anonymous said...

What they all said - and I love that I really wasn't sure until I read it if she'd give Caleb up or not, but the simplicity of how you wrote her decision worked *really* well.

Crystal said...

Wow, she's got one heck of a cat...wouldn't the cat be completely freaked out in a situation like this?

Great description, as always!! Can't wait to see what happens next!

Gabriele Campbell said...

Wow, great imagery and one evil cliffhanger.

How old is Caleb, btw? He seems a bit heavy to carry and he might need a slap to get out of his stupor and into walking. :)

Anonymous said...

*snarl!* you have to leave us hanging like that?! :D Very good snippet!

Nicole said...

Nice snippet! But about the beginning, I wasn't sure - since it's been a while since we saw Dell - whether she was flashing-back to when she sent Caleb away (in order for the reader to remember). It was a bit confusing at first that she had sent him off and he came back.

Other than that (and the cliffhanger), though, no complaints!

Susan Bischoff said...

I was just going to return visits today because it's been that sort of week, but I had to seek you out before I call it a day! And I'm glad I did. I always enjoy your stuff. I was sorry that we left the other guys because I was all into what was going on with them, and now I'm sorry, like everyone else, to leave off here!

And of course I liked the title of the post as well!

Unknown said...

Fabulous. Great ending, a real hook!

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Oh, what a great snippet. Love the cliffhanger!!

Michelle said...

I have to agree...Way to leave us hanging! Argh! Gotta get writing. Still have more to do to make my goal today!

Look forward to reading more!
Michelle

Anonymous said...

I'm glad she couldn't let the boy go. She needs the boy to keep her human and connected.

Great snippet!

Anonymous said...

I liked it, a lot.

qualcosa di bello said...

ok, i was not really wanting to leave the action at Traveler's Rest, but now i am hooked on Columbia! Corleone...fantastic name for her cat.

well done!!!!