Friday Snippets: Love in the Time of Apocalypse
Please, leave your link to a Friday Snippet! I won't be able to read them until later today when I get done, but I definitely want to see where all the stories are going this week. Please let me know what you think - We're almost to the section of this story that I absolutely adore. I'd like a general opinion of what you guys think. Thanks!
THE SNIPPET
Dell dreamed of that long ago summer when she saw her brother's face on the morning before he died, before they laid down in the cold earth with no thought to the winter frost. She dreamed of the last time she saw him in the doorway, dark haired and smiling. She knew Iris was there, somewhere in the sunlight.Copyrighted, do not reproduce, material liable to change. Etc.
Dell flinched. She woke and dark was all around. She was cold, her hair clinging in slick curls against her brow. She felt herself leaning to the left and reached out her hand in the shadows. She felt the slow rise and fall of Caleb's chest, the warm purr of Corleone tucked in the curve of his arm. The man in the mask sat across from her. She couldn't see his face, but the outline of his profile was unmistakable. Roman nose and Asian jawline, the gleam of his eyes dark dusted green and tilted exquisitely, courtesy of his father the GI and his mother the lady he loved and brought across the sea after the war.
"Roy," Dell croaked. He smiled, standing over her. Dell brought her hands to her eyes, wanting suddenly to weep. She felt him sit on the edge of the bed and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself to sit. Every bone in her body ached, but feeling him laugh against her shoulder was worth it. Caleb stirred in his sleep. Dell pulled back, comforted by the rough hands framing her face. Roy leaned his brow against hers and she could see the faint sheen of his green almond-shaped eyes.
"Where are we?" she whispered.
"We're underground. My house is gone, but we're in my basement."
"When happened?"
"Nuke."
"Was it just Columbia?"
"From what I can tell from the chatter, whoever got us, got most of the east coast."
Dell's hand went to her heart, her chest clutching tight. Roy watched her, judging his next words carefully. "I've heard that we may launch back, and you know what that means."
"Then there is no safe place," Dell said. "I want to be here with you if that's how it will happen.""I know," he said. He lowered his head, laughing quietly. "And I want you to stay.""Then there is no safe place," Dell said. "I want to be here with you if that's how it will happen."
"But we both want to know what's going on outside," she said. Those were the most awful words she could imagine saying, but she knew she would not stay with him. She had not stayed with Math died or when Iris left and she would not stay now that the world was ending. "You still have his bike?"
"Of course."
"And...the gun?"
"Yes," Roy said. He leaned forward suddenly, kissing her for the first time since the day of Math's funeral.She could feel a sob deep down in her chest, but as she pulled away from him, his hand tangled in hers and she opened dry eyes."I could give you anything, Dell," he said. "And you ask for those two things."
She could hear the anger thick in his voice, tinged with grief and frustration. "I knew you would ask for those two things, Dell," he said. She rested a hand on each of his shoulders for balance and stood. He looked up at her and she saw his face, streaked with grime.
"I'll give you both," he said. He bowed his head against her, and his words were muffled against her heart. "I could give you anything, Dell," he said. "And you ask for those two things."
So say we all.
Bri
15 comments:
Should the last 'could' be a 'would'? Otherwise, if I were her, I'd ask him to give her a land free of nuclear war... ;-)
That last section is powerful. I'm just not sure whether he should be angry/irritated with her for being practical when they've got far more important concerns than his ego. It makes him come across as self-obsessed. (Of course, that may be your intention!)
Usual disclaimer: I may be wrong. *grin*
I think I'm sort of disagreeing with Ian. I'm not really clear on the history here or just what's between them, but what I got out of it, given my admittedly romantic bent, is that Roy has feelings for Dell and wants her to stay. And when everything's coming apart and you feel like it's all about to end, the idea that being with someone you care about is really important to you...I wouldn't call that self-obsessed or ego. I'd call that human nature. So I liked it fine. If I was annoyed with anyone, it was Dell for pulling away and wanting to leave. But it's that necessary kind of annoyance you feel for a character who has a mission and doesn't allow herself to do the easy thing.
And I'm not at all sure that made any sense at all.
Hi, Bri. I'm new to Friday Snippets, so I'm still getting into the story. (Don't yet understand what Dell's quest is.) But thanks for posting. I plan to come back future Fridays and maybe then I'll have something more useful to say. :)
-TimK
I think we have two tortured characters here. :) Very intense scene.
You evil woman. You introduce us to him, make us love him in a matter of lines, and then go break his heart? You suck. He better go with her or show up later or something. You're only like 3 hours from me...I can come get you...[brandishes a fist]
(No snippet from me this week, but I'm glad to be reading, anyway.)
I love the end of this part. My only complaint with it is that I almost don't get enough emotion from Dell. I know that she has feelings for Roy from the beginning of the snippet, but I don't feel any agony on her part at leaving him. She knows they are the "most awful words" but she doesn't act like they're awful enough, to me. (Maybe she will in a later section? Hmmm.) Still a great job, though!
Definitely, add more emotion from Dell, because you have the potential to make this a KILLER scene. I get Roy's heartache clearly. Torture Dell just a bit more. :-)
I'm totally with Nicole and Joely on this one. Torture her a bit more. Or show it more, anyway. ;)
I don't know what you plan on doing with Dell's character, but I don't think she needs more angst. I think that the fact that she is so unemotional about her decisions makes her who she is. . . I think that if she didn't stick around when her bro. died, why would leaving a man (even if he loved her) who has no blood relationship to her be anywhere near as tough as that past decision. I think there's something to be said about the fact that she is so logical, are you intending to make her emotional unattachment (is that even a word?) a weakness or flaw in her character? She seems to have a pattern/habit of callously leaving people by the hints you've given us that she constantly pushes away any emotionally stirring memories. And I believe that her being so different from the woman we just left in the story (Iris) provides for an intriguing contrast.
*don't know if that helps or not, but it's my two cents :)*
I do love the fact that she asks for two such odd things. I find myself fascinated by them, wondering what they mean and what they'll do. In my mind, both are magical.
Awesome post. I think he should go with her (but that's just my opinion *g*). Have a great weekend.
Well, I don't think Dell is unemotional. Her actions speak louder than words. She kept Caleb instead of giving him to strangers. She obviously loves Roy. She must just have something she needs to do--either someone she needs to rescue, or something she needs to put in motion, that's all. Great snippet!
wow wow wow!!! thanks for the update for this late-comer. it is my favorite weekend reading! (i agree with cherylp...i try to wonder how i might react in dell's place...could be very "flat affect" just to deal with it all.)
love it, bri!
Great snippet.
Btw you won a gift certificate for visiting my new website this weekend. Email me your email addy and I'll send you the gift certificate for Amazon.com :)
Like the snippet
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